Zahira In Twilight

Naked

2010-03-09T13:10:00.001+05:30

Standing naked under the shower
Seeing my reflexion, the eyes,the power
My heart pounces inside, teeth clamped tight
I breath from inside out

How I wish, I would slam his head
Hit him so hard, till he bleeds
From his ears, his head, and mouth
And then I would trample on his hands
While he pleads
Those dirty mystic hands, that touched
That plagued head, that planned opaque
A mirage, so I would see what wasn’t real
Then she remembers, recounts
What the sages said,
It hurts when u hurt
He shall die slow,road to perdition
Rotting away, with guilt
Of the temptations, he couldn’t resist
The evanescent pleasure, the immoral pain
Drunk in the night, he wriggles
With tears and blood
So sorry, he atones to have been born!
Tired, frustrated and sick
He shouts and exasperates
Me? Who he couldn’t defy
Could not exploit or touch
SO pure, he couldn’t stain
So deep, he couldn’t end
Standing naked I am power.
While he crouches hiding, lest someone knows who he is
Naked!

2010-03-09T13:08:00.002+05:30

Once again,moonlight falls on me
and the love remains
my heart mellow ... sublime
wasn't it fine, that time?
that you turned your back
for her love greater than mine
said she's your only love, your only sunshine
Darling, you didn't think once
how those words cut me through
and I was begging you please
You already got me in so deep
I've loved you so long
that I've forgotten to love again
teach me now, how do I fill this empty space within

Like a fool, I fell in love with you
that i can't live through now
please don't say, I'd be good without
I know what you meant to me
this without doubt

2010-03-09T13:08:00.001+05:30

How could you not see?
what you meant, between you and me
and say what you just didn't mean
and make me believe

2010-03-09T13:05:00.000+05:30

I dream of shiny red and velvet
I dream of you and me and the moon overhead
of the sweet smell of your sweat
the same place where we met
once again, turning and returning
Oh! when you touch me, I'm free falling
into the abyss of the endless sky

A brand new life

2009-08-29T22:21:00.003+05:30

Someday she starts a new life
a new beginning , with a brand new light, leaving her past behind
Someday she walks through the fresh morning breeze
among the chirps on trees,dew on grass and oh so clean
Sometimes in her eyes, I see the zeal
of the morning to come
to love,live and learn
to break free from the world of avarice and blame
where people spent their heart, mind and money as if a game!

On the Rocks

2009-08-24T00:13:00.000+05:30

The breeze sweeps my thoughts
effacing the old, the developing , bringing brand new doubts
I stop,look,turn around and totter
So high that nothing bothers
dancing,laughing,I want to swallow the sadness
But it conjures again when Im sober
I know I'll be the same after this hour of madness

2009-06-20T12:07:00.000+05:30

Have you ever
Loved him to hurt him?

2009-06-20T11:59:00.000+05:30

People ask me why I don’t talk

But im saving! Im saving it for you

So long

2009-06-20T11:58:00.001+05:30

been so long since your love
that I've forgotten to love again
since you've gone
there's only an empty space within
I'll remember the days spent together
life is walking alone in purple haze today

2009-06-20T11:47:00.000+05:30

The dream I dreamt last night
is no more mine.
So why this pretention
Now there shall be no song, no dedication

If Only

2009-04-06T15:12:00.002+05:30

There is still so much to say
If only we pull down our egos
and each night we pray
the time will come soon again

You knew I never betrayed
even when you shouted and
said you don't believe
not anymore
I knew it was only anger
you said all lies trying to hurt me more
heh! rather bringing me to the shore

But the egos were never killed
but the love, much before it was billed
There is so much still to say
if only our egos werer killed
each night pray

2009-04-04T12:06:00.000+05:30

When the world thinks it knows it all

I don’t want to tell ..what it missed

2009-02-22T00:35:00.001+05:30

2009-02-22T00:19:00.006+05:30

2009-01-27T00:10:00.003+05:30

The end so close

2008-09-07T13:29:00.000+05:30

As the song finishes this time

The brain registers I've shifted a little more to the right
And then I replay the song yet again pulling myself from the floor to the wall
Im sitting most comfortably, supporting me is this tree standing tall
The lights are off and its dark, no sounds to distract me
the fifth floor height is another reality
Yes. there's work left to do
but I will waste time today
Ditch the whole world. Bitch
I was awakened by thundering in the morning
rain afterwards, whole day mourning
And now i'm tired, thoughtful ..its cool and breezy
***************************************************************************************
Im an inch far from a great fall
the world will call it suicide
some people will cry and recall
and yet it seems so easy, a task to do
a goal to finish. ask no questions
Do I have nothing to lose?
looking back my memories are all pleasant to choose
then why did i not wait for the song to end
and moved a bit more to the right ..towards the end

2008-08-30T20:53:00.001+05:30

2008-07-29T12:08:00.000+05:30

Since some days somehow,
I keep thinking of you all the time
Nobody understands me now
Only the love songs are mine

The Red Balloon

2008-07-25T11:18:00.002+05:30

One day when I was small,
The red balloon I was playing with, had decided it wanted it wanted to go up
No matter how much I played and laughed and stopped it
When I was tired it slid up with the air
and woohoo reached the top of the house everytime !
There it swayed with air, dancing , a little right and some left and its sparkly ribbon tail twisted and curled and chuckled
Redder with emotion. It was a balloon high up.

Till the next day I admired on my pillow watching it, it looked so pretty
and next I wanted it back.Its mine .It was brought for me
So the balloon was landed and handed to me
"Its mine! Its mine!" I gushed, children easily get over excited
When I went to drink some water I hid it below many books, clothes and pillows
Its not going anywhere up again now, right here with me I thought

On returning the balloon was wrinkled and loose
It was dull, heavy and blotted. It didnt move
Only lay there matted, didnt even look up to rise now.

I forgot this balloon quickly and brought another to play.
I should have learnt from it maybe it had something to say.

These Thoughts

2008-07-17T14:36:00.006+05:30

Dreams seem to be connected with putting things into long-term memory and sorting out the many impressions you get during the day .Dreams are a form of communication between your unconscious and your conscious self,
Merritt, a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, agrees.

"Dreams deal with a lot of unfinished business, things which you have difficulty relating to in waking life," he said. "What often comes up in dreams are the most difficult things, the things that you don't really want to know about yourself."

Calvin S. Hall, a researcher at Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, found anxiety to be the most common emotion, with negative emotions reported more frequently than positive ones.

"Anything that's challenging your self-image or presents emotional difficulties to you is probably going to occur in your dreams," Merritt said.

***"A nightmare exposes things that perhaps you haven't expressed in your life-—perhaps fears you didn't know you had," Veilleux said. "It's an outlet and also a way of learning about yourself." ***'Every poem breaks a silence that had to be overcome'***

According to me somebody else read it to me in the night.
Waking up in the morning, I realised I created this poem in a dream!!I had written it in the night finding Zahira next to me and had slept again. Weird?! I know..

Do you see too often these thoughts?

Have these thoughts been keeping you awake?

Do they remind you to be in shape?

This dream........couldn't have been so mean

Look there.. I am looking so keen

Do you see, do you see in my eyes?

Is there still a sheen?

I wish that night would have never been

But these thoughts into my heart already, perhaps with no redeem

I believe in shining star

It shines so bright

Keeping all its dreams forever with it

Deep in thoughts , tight

And yes, it shines when there is no light

Hoping it will be true, the glory if it just might

Not showing but within before each morning

It hopes to see a star shooting

For luck that its' dreams come true? or in company to see somebody mourning?

These Thougts is a very special poem to me though it is very unclear , even to me with so many emotions ..yet the last line rather scares me

The Story Behind

2008-07-05T12:17:00.001+05:30

The first memory is my sister having a nightmare

Sleeping next to me, in the room we shared

Then she cried, eyes puffy and red

Clutching her pillow tight, eyes barely open

I looked...confused..i never had a fight..why is shedding this tear?!

Later she told mom and dad

Hugging mom, in her lap visibly scared

" I dont want to lose you" was all she said

Everybody understood, she dreamt of the family dead.

After that, almost everynigt the dream hovered

My parents tried evreything, all doctor

Dad told her that he loved, mom couldnt figure out any fight any scolding in school

Nomore, my favourite horror movies

After all we all did our bit of duties

Years passed and we seperated our rooms

Her sleeps were better, till mine in those monsoons

It had been a terrible year, losing my friends of bomb blastings, accidents and cancer

I had changed my school, giving boards is never cool

The first was scary, I dreamt of losing my best of friends

(deleted) fell from a building

Oh God! A moment ago, he was right here,playing with me!

When he missed noticing the missing reiling

(deleted) under a car on the street

when she was running she had forgotten the keys

and now (deleted) is nowhereto be found

How is it possible I just saw her

I still remember the sound

I woke up crying , knowing it was a nightmare

But I wanted to cry more, the feeling was still there

And then years passed and Im here

Writing to zahira of how my plane crashed

5 : 57 am 2 july 08

dont deserve this

2008-07-05T12:02:00.002+05:30

Coz im Guilty

Feels a sinner, who still does the same.Why am I getting so much Good around me when I dont deserve.Hate me. Free me.

I am bad .said Lies .thought ugly

Do u know i get ugly dreams

Sad depressing within

I wake up crying, for all those sins

I dont deserve what you do to me.

And Im guilty for what I couldn't do, I couldn't be what I always longed for

Feels a loser for Losing what i dreamt of

And I still dream.looking up lifeless from down below

Loser . I am. Hate me

Free me . Please help me

2008-07-02T23:30:00.001+05:30

Looking at me in the mirror
asking..Oh she's staring

2008-06-29T01:09:00.000+05:30

There’s a scream inside of me,muted
There are tears in my eyes, undropped
but I sit here still,
With open sky above me ,I know
But I wont see what needs to be
Coz Im afraid of this dark night.
Im afraid to bleed

She Belong

2008-06-28T15:26:00.003+05:30

I need your arms around me,

So safe, sleeping next to you in twilight

Momy,Im looking for you, if you just might

Come, please Momy, I am hating this night.

Everybody around's staring at me

What will they do to me? Momy I am scared

I want to sit tight, Very tight

Right here in this night

Close my eyes and see no-one

Hear no-one

Momy, when I close my ears

I am scared

Maybe you'll call me, I should hear

Mom but why dont you care?

I am not hungry Momy,

But the sleep I cannot bare

My feet hurt,the pain I want you to share

Momy, where are you? Your little doll is alone here

shedding this tear

Im praying, if all this was just a dream

Maybe in your arms tomorrow, I wake up with a scream

But if I don't find you now Momy

Perhaps the memories will never repair

Night Sky

2008-06-27T02:31:00.000+05:30

Look up in the sky
Little white stars twinkling in my eyes!
Some are boastful and yellow,some are blue and shy.
So small in this world I must be nobody
Happy and careless shall I be
As the wind plays up and down this leaf
I see crystal clear how much I am free.

In your arms

2008-05-20T02:11:00.000+05:30

The sun has gone down and streets are calmer
Life is perfect with all that we’ve found
In each other and outside…
Words don’t work magic..only your eyes are the key
For what you want to tell me
Locked in your arms , I feel so free
Never knew a fairytale my life would be

2008-04-26T12:38:00.001+05:30

Will life pass sitting here?
Return me back when you're done

'cause I'm too tired to lift

and see if you're still sitting beside.

2008-04-21T20:35:00.001+05:30

In my life.
I will always love you.
Stay like this with me forever.
With you there's no fear, without you there's void.